It is strange how we confuse the words 'listening' and 'hearing'. We
use them as synonyms, which I do not know if it is true from a linguistic stand
point. However, they should not be used interchangeably because they represent
two different behaviours. And I assume we all know
the difference and that is not my point. What I want to point out here
is the often-ignored gap between knowing and understanding. Note that ignoring
this gap is not necessarily intended, although it might be, but it is rather
hidden from us by our minds. We all know how unpleasant it is to find out that
you do not understand something and your mind is doing its job by making sure
you are in your comfort zone.

Starting with knowing, it is when we observe an event or get hit by
a new piece of information without having any knowledge of how it came to be or
why. And sometimes you may also know how something
happened, but not why it happened. For
instance, people have always experienced gravity; they knew it existed. They
felt it and saw its effects on the physical world. However, when it came to the
actuality of it and why it exists and the factors that were at play, humans
were just as clueless as a tree.

On the other hand, there is understanding. It is when we have a
decent knowledge of how and why something came to be (by this definition,  we are just as clueless about the meaning of
life as a tree). After Newton and later Einstein, we understood gravity.
Additionally, there is always a why question prior
to understanding. Knowing, therefore, can come without understanding while the
reverse is not possible (as far as I am concerned).

Our minds love to confuse these two concepts. It is much easier to
know something than to understand it. We sometimes live in an illusion that
everything is under control because this is what understanding is really about.
The unknow is always a place where monsters are awaiting for us. That is why
many hate darkness (not everyone though, darkness has another story). It is
unexplored territory and delving into it requires risk-taking. You get my
point. It is something deeply rooted in the way we interpret the world and it
is absolutely fascinating.

Now, let us get back on track. We confuse hearing for listening in
the same way we confuse understanding and knowing. We cannot help but hear
things; it is involuntary. We can hear things in the background while still
thinking of what we are going to do tonight. We hear music and study at the
same time; we can say we are listening to music only when we are doing nothing
but paying attention to it. Listening requires presence and attention. Presence
with all our mind and soul in a way that allows us to break down the others'
speech and analyse it. If it was an intense argument, we need to listen
carefully because the opposing side will inevitably contradict her/his own
beliefs and believe me it is so much fun calling them out on it. However, if it
was someone you care about, it is rather a good idea to sit, clear your mind
from any personal issues and listen to them. Understanding them is to your own
benefit after all.

“You never really learn much from hearing yourself speak.”